two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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