i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
