You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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