Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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