I wanna bring you to show and tell
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
