why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
