Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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