I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
