Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
