Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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