I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
