Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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