I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
