this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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