You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
