You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Everyone says I win the strip club
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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