I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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