When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
