oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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