small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
