she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
