it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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