No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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