Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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