guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
