How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
