I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
