saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
