Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
