ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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