ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My feet surprised me
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