Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
