so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
