When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
