Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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