You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
