apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
