I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
