i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize