this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
