we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
