forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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