if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
