nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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