at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
