How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
