girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
