I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
