chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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