I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
