if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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