Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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