Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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