it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
