At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
