Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
