I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
