I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
