check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't deserve a penis
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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