so explain again why im purple
no
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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