All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
