There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Randomize