Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
then he tried to convert me to islam
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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